Lunaya Pravda

10 January 2007

Dear e-stores

I'm an avid believer in online shopping. I love how it enables shoppers to bargain hunt without driving all over town, and to track down items they might not otherwise find in their city. It's beautiful, really.

However, if one more store asks me to register with a username and password just to make a one-time purchase, I'm going to wring someone's neck. To be specific, I'm trying to order a decent swimsuit that will work for repeated use in swimming laps. Fashion suits are far from suitable (pun intended) - they fade, stretch, sag, and generally aren't designed for that kind of wear and tear. Not many stores carry the kind of suits made to take such abuse, so I've turned to online retailers.

But every (and I mean EVERY) single one wants me to register with a yet ANOTHER username and password I won't remember before I can complete an order. After my attempts to purchase as a guest were rebuffed by a third e-tailer during the checkout process, I sent the company a nastygram telling them exactly why they just lost a sale.

It seems to be a disturbing trend in e-commerce - some of my favorite sites have now gone over to the dark side. Look, you boneheads... I have no problems remembering my addresses (both shipping and billing), and my credit card number. Those don't change often. But usernames and passwords always have to be unique, and I can remember only so much.

So please, stop asking me to fill my head with such a waste of space. One of these days, my poor brain will hit capacity, and where my first grade teacher's name was once stored, I'll now be able to recall only username "gwendolyn" password "qwerty07".

Just stop it! Argh!