To the bastards who broke into my house today

Eat shit, you asshats. I hope that the wounds you got destroying my kitchen door inflict upon you a severe case of tetanus and lockjaw, cause blood poisoning, turn gangrenous, and/or eventually cause you to drop dead from necrotizing faciitis. Any one of these afflictions would suffice as karmic punishment, but I'm seriously hoping divine intervention can give you all of them simultaneously.

There, I feel a *teensy* bit better. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming...