Lunaya Pravda

09 March 2007

The spiders are back

So, over the course of two days, I had the daylights scared out of me by three large spiders, two of which were exceptionally large.

I'm generally not a squeamish, girly sort of person (except in incidences such as this), but spiders freak me out. My past holds too many instances of them popping out from under the bath mat when I'm naked and ready to shower, and too many occasions involving running into their outdoor webs with my face while walking around my parents' house. I can hold my desire to lose all motor control long enough to squish and flush the bastards, but afterwards, I must be careful to indulge my heebie-jeebies (which, by the way, aren't covered by health insurance).

My ability to hold back long enough to identify the offending spider is, well, severely lacking. And I discovered today that, to my detriment, I probably won't be identifying any of my local spiders anytime soon. Why? Because the best, most accurate method of determining which of several species native to this area is to look at the pattern and spacing of their eyes!

Now, these gigantic spiders that have been gleefully tormenting my waking hours lately are large--with legs, they're probably two inches or more in diameter. And through their size and appearance and the miracle of the Internet, I've narrowed their identity down to a handful of likely suspects, one of which is believed capable of a nasty bite and aggressive temperament. But they're not large enough for me to recognize their eye pattern from, say, the safety of the other side of the room (and the safety of the opposite side of the room would be questionable if they were that large).

I just wasn't meant to be any kind of sane, calm, rational arachnophile, one who maintains poise and dignity while trapping the intruder in a clear jar for later study of their fascinating markings. So, for the time being, I've resigned myself to keeping a catalog or magazine nearby and the knowledge that my curiosity won't soon be sated.

Unless one of those calm, sane, rational folks wants to come over and identify one for me before I flatten it.