Lunaya Pravda

21 October 2006

Fat Cat

Some time ago, I purchased two feline harnesses and two leashes for my cats. I figure in some emergencies, cat carriers just won't be feasible, and I'm NOT leaving my animals behind. Well, to put it delicately, one of my cats isn't delicate enough to fit into a one-size-fits-all feline harness. He's not even close to fitting into one, actually.

So this morning, making my run to Petsmart to stock up on cat food, I wandered over to the dog harnesses to see if I could find one that fits that I don't think he'd be able to wriggle out of.

So which size harness did I end up taking home for a trial? A small, not an extra small. This is a harness for dogs with girth of 14-20 inches, and it's a good thing I didn't try for a the smaller one.

My parents had a book entitled "What Dr. Spock Didn't Tell Us". It described, with illustrations, humorous "afflictions" children often get, such as the unbridled impulse to show off and wiggle a loose tooth. One childhood condition it chronicled was known as "Spaghetti Leg". This is a condition whereby a child becomes completely unable to stiffen his leg when an adult is attempting to put boots, socks, or any other foot or legware on him.

Putting a harness on my corpulent feline apparently induces what I'll now call "Boneless Cat Syndrome". He became physically incapable of standing, or sitting, or cooperating in any way. He didn't try to run (hmmm, could that correlate to his size?), apparently deciding that the doom about to befall him, while inescapable, also didn't deserve his assistance in the form of a single muscle contraction. It felt like I was manhandling a furry rag doll.

With some struggling and readjusting and rolling him over, I managed to get him into the harness and size it properly, and it fits much better than that horribly tight feline harness I have, so that's one more thing off my preparedness list.

Long and short, if you want any hope of cooperation from your pets - get a dog.

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